His Beautiful Life

Thursday, March 11, 2010

hope.

Hope is all we have now. Hope to survive this battle that has already separated us from one of our leaders. from our future. from everything we thought we knew. And now we can only hope to find the strength to walk this new path, wherever it may take us.

Today is the third day without Jason and I still can't believe its real. I don't think any of us can-or want to. Now i'm forced to pinch myself and wake up from the dream to realize the nightmare is in fact the truth.

Why does God choose to take away the ones we love. the ones we need. the ones who needed more time to show the world their true colors, to live out the plans for this incredible life he had dreamed of. I don't think God would do that.

I saw on a friends facebook status a quote.
you give satan and inch
and he takes a mile


I think its so true. so while we mourn the loss of one of the greatest men who didn't get to grow up... we need to remember-
don't give up on those you love. don't give up on your self. if you or someone you know needs help, don't hesitate to do it. Because the pain we are being forced to deal with now isn't fair. isn't right. makes no sense and i wish it upon absolutely no one. PLEASE prevent it while you have the chance.






Dear Jason,
my brother. my rock. the one i miss so much. I don't know what to do. what I'm supposed to do. or say. or think or feel. But i know time will lead the way. and you will help us from way up there with your new wings. you will show us all how to fly again- and we will not forget you- we will not forget one single thing about you.

I wont ever forget your curly mullet or Garth Brooks obsession, or the weird red dirt music you listen too. Our live Like You're Dying dance in dads car, or how excited you were when you got that new white truck. I wont forget how you always slept in Spanish class and I would try to hide you so you wouldnt get in trouble (or embarass me). I wont ever forget getting to cheer for you as you wrestled your way to such great heights. I most especially wont forget you and your electric guitar and how you thought you could teach yourself how to play. I could go on and on and on and on and as i sit in the living room floor looking at the hundreds of pictures we have together over the years...i realize i have such big shoes to fill. Brian looks up to you so much- for so many reasons i have nothing to do with and now i need to be both his sister and brother. I am arranging your slide show and picking out songs ...all things id hoped to do for your wedding or graduation party.
I never even considered a funeral. i knew you would be here forever. So i will close my eyes and see you there every night. I will talk to you every day. and I will honor your life and legacy the way i hope youd want me too.

we all love you so much. you have so many friends and have touched so many lives. our house has never seen so many people in and out and they are all here for you. I wish you could be here to see it. I wish you could just be here. I miss you forever.

love kelsey





3 comments:

  1. Jason has ran though my mind over and over all day today. He loved his family so much. He was so fun to watch when he would tell us about his siblings, he was very proud of both of you. It's interesting how siblings will tell others all about how wonderful they think their siblings are and how much they love them, and yet forget to ever mention it to those same siblings. So just in case Jason forgot to mention just how special he thought you two are Trust us he has told our family lots of wonderful storys about you and the bond that you share. Our hearts break for your loss. Love, From The Flanary Family

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  2. Thank you. we love him so much. You all are more than welcome to stop by if you feel up to it

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  3. I Have never met you or Jason, But i think I know Brian pretty well. He loves and respects you so much and you are wonderful sister to him. My heart goes out to you and your family and My prayers for your family is at the top of the list! It will be hard for the days to follow, but stay strong and be the family Jason remembers. Jason now rest and rejoices in a beautiful place and he will always be the Angel on your shoulder always whether you need him at every givin moment or not... Smile often, and know he smiles with you.

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